So, it's not so much that I didn't get around to posting more badly drawn boys fer y'all, but my last weeks in Philly were unfortunately marred by my former roommate's apparent inability to pay the internet bill on time. Ç'est la vie, non? We all have our little crosses to bear.
Anywhat, I am now in Chile, where I will be spending the next couple of months getting reacquianted with my extended family and hopefully sunning my ´lil tush as the waves of the Pacific lap at my toesy-woesies. But fear not, all three of you, for I have set up a travel blog for which to recount my assorted tales of er, stuff. And you can read that blog at http://chiledelphiano.blogspot.com
So um, go there, ´cause I shore as shit ain't gonna be posting up in this bitch for a minute. But the Fresh Fruit dream lives on! I am working my way through the episode breakdowns to show some animators when I get back to town. IT WILL HAPPEN, I TELL YOU, IF I HAVE TO WILL IT INTO BEING BY THE SHEER FORCE OF MY ... WILL. In the meantime, sirs and madams, content yourself with The Adventuras of El Chiledelphiano.
That is all.
Monday, October 8, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
oh mah gah ahm such a slacker
It's been so long since I've posted! It's criminal!
So, since May I've graduated college and joined a soccer team . That's about it.
For serious though I've been working on the pilot episode of Fresh Fruit as well as tinkering with my junior screenplay, which I'm trying to shop to a local production company. I'm also gearing up for my Great American Tour, which starts August 30th. New Orleans, San Antonio, Portland OR, Ellenville NY, and then Buenos Aires and Chile. My photoshop trial also ended and I'm too broke to buy that shit, so I haven't been polishing up the old strips or working on new ones.
But. I've decided to be a little less lazy in these next couple weeks and see what I can get up on here. Also, I'm thinking about changing the name of the strip. A friend of mine made a joke (on a MySpace page, natch) about starting up a band called Boyz-n-Berries... and I'm seriously considering asking her permission to use it for this cartoon. Anyway, I probably drew the strip below back in 2001, so I realize the body piercing angle's been covered and the novelty has worn off some. Still, I like this one.
So, since May I've graduated college and joined a soccer team . That's about it.
For serious though I've been working on the pilot episode of Fresh Fruit as well as tinkering with my junior screenplay, which I'm trying to shop to a local production company. I'm also gearing up for my Great American Tour, which starts August 30th. New Orleans, San Antonio, Portland OR, Ellenville NY, and then Buenos Aires and Chile. My photoshop trial also ended and I'm too broke to buy that shit, so I haven't been polishing up the old strips or working on new ones.
But. I've decided to be a little less lazy in these next couple weeks and see what I can get up on here. Also, I'm thinking about changing the name of the strip. A friend of mine made a joke (on a MySpace page, natch) about starting up a band called Boyz-n-Berries... and I'm seriously considering asking her permission to use it for this cartoon. Anyway, I probably drew the strip below back in 2001, so I realize the body piercing angle's been covered and the novelty has worn off some. Still, I like this one.
Monday, May 7, 2007
the final storyboard from my now-defunct senior film project
From my notes on Rock Paper Scissors:
"... having accidentally administered his own sexual re-assignment surgery, Buddy's body is unable to withstand the trauma of his very first period."
So. Anybody got five grand or so they wanna throw at me so I can finish this shit? C'mon, y'all, the villain's a talking penis. A TALKING PENIS, I say. Gimme some money.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
a teaser
I know I said I wasn't going to post new comics just yet, but I figgered, what the hell, why not drop a couple fresh ones on ya?
HA!
I am the master of the double entendre!
HA!
I am the master of the double entendre!
Monday, April 30, 2007
Super Bagel
While I was digging through my old schtuff, I found this other comic strip I used to work on, about a radical leftist bi-sexual lady superhero named Super Bagel.
Around 2002, when I finally started getting serious about drawing and invested in some fancy pens and drawing paper, I started a brief storyline with Super Bagel. I'll be posting those strips shortly. Dude, I can't believe I waited this long to buy a scanner. Srsly.
And, in case your wondering, Super Bagel gets her super powers from that Chinese Finger Trap she's got in her hair. See, I thought this shit out n'shit.
Around 2002, when I finally started getting serious about drawing and invested in some fancy pens and drawing paper, I started a brief storyline with Super Bagel. I'll be posting those strips shortly. Dude, I can't believe I waited this long to buy a scanner. Srsly.
And, in case your wondering, Super Bagel gets her super powers from that Chinese Finger Trap she's got in her hair. See, I thought this shit out n'shit.
one last roach for ze road
For those of you unfamiliar with "the biz", giving a bellhop a one-dollar tip is pretty damn fuckin' shitty. If you tip a bellhop a dollar, you deserve to have your brains splattered all over the everywhere by a ridiculously ginormous handgun. But don't quote me on that when I run for office plz.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Roach Hotel
While I was bellhopping at various hospitality establishments in New York's splendiferous Hudson Valley region, I developed a real, er, appreciation for the crap people in the hotel industry have to put up with on a daily basis. For serious, y'all, you people think that just because yer on vacation the whole world is gonna rim you clean. Nuh-uh.
To healthily vent my frustrations with the job, I spent some time drawing a strip called Roach Hotel, which centers around the constant rants and rages of its beleaguered hero, Bill Harp. I know this isn't technically part of the Fresh Fruit series, but otherwise this shit'll never "see the light of day" (I hate how the internet fucks up those kind of expressions, but you know what I mean). Enjoy.
I think people would be much nicer to the hired help if the hired help was armed with pointy shit. I'm just sayin' is all.
"'Thank you' is not an adequate tip."
See, when I was Lindsey Lohan's age, I totally knew how to spell "adequate". Take that, teenage drama queen!
No, Sheryl Crow didn't actually come to the hotel and stiff me, but hey, woulda been funny if she had. And if she had done so in song. Using this song. Which was popular at the time. How topical of me!
"I don't need coffee to jump start my day."
Note the 3-D-ness of that table thingie. It's practically LEAPING offa the screen. Admit it, you flinched a little. And um, those squiggly-wormy things are s'posed ta be lines of cocaine. Yeah, I need an illustrator. Bad.
"And if you need anything at all, please do not hesitate to ask somebody else.Thank you."
I like how this is the only one where Bill's actually smiling. I should take a moment to point out that, while the job did come with its fair share of bullshit, I did make a ton of cashola. Which I spent on booze, hallucinogens, and sometimes the rent on the double-wide trailer I shared with my boyfriend and two incredibly slovenly (but way shexy) male co-workers. Also, my perpetually unemployed bf would occasionally dip into my pockets and steal loose bills. Hey Mark, if you're reading this, fuck you with a chainsaw. Not gently.
And finally, a variation on "Hey, don't you hate mornings? I do too. Ha ha".
And that was the year that was 2001. More to come.
To healthily vent my frustrations with the job, I spent some time drawing a strip called Roach Hotel, which centers around the constant rants and rages of its beleaguered hero, Bill Harp. I know this isn't technically part of the Fresh Fruit series, but otherwise this shit'll never "see the light of day" (I hate how the internet fucks up those kind of expressions, but you know what I mean). Enjoy.
I think people would be much nicer to the hired help if the hired help was armed with pointy shit. I'm just sayin' is all. "'Thank you' is not an adequate tip."See, when I was Lindsey Lohan's age, I totally knew how to spell "adequate". Take that, teenage drama queen!
No, Sheryl Crow didn't actually come to the hotel and stiff me, but hey, woulda been funny if she had. And if she had done so in song. Using this song. Which was popular at the time. How topical of me!
"I don't need coffee to jump start my day." Note the 3-D-ness of that table thingie. It's practically LEAPING offa the screen. Admit it, you flinched a little. And um, those squiggly-wormy things are s'posed ta be lines of cocaine. Yeah, I need an illustrator. Bad.
"And if you need anything at all, please do not hesitate to ask somebody else.Thank you."I like how this is the only one where Bill's actually smiling. I should take a moment to point out that, while the job did come with its fair share of bullshit, I did make a ton of cashola. Which I spent on booze, hallucinogens, and sometimes the rent on the double-wide trailer I shared with my boyfriend and two incredibly slovenly (but way shexy) male co-workers. Also, my perpetually unemployed bf would occasionally dip into my pockets and steal loose bills. Hey Mark, if you're reading this, fuck you with a chainsaw. Not gently.
And finally, a variation on "Hey, don't you hate mornings? I do too. Ha ha".
And that was the year that was 2001. More to come.
the pick-up artist
This is the first strip that features dialog between the two main characters, Alex and Kirk, whose names I later changed to -- ah, heck, just read the first post.
ALEX: I don't get it, Kirk. I'm having the hardest time meeting a guy tonight.
KIRK: Don't sweat it, Alex. I'm sure it has absolutely nothing to do with the vomit on your shirt.
ALEX: I don't get it, Kirk. I'm having the hardest time meeting a guy tonight.
KIRK: Don't sweat it, Alex. I'm sure it has absolutely nothing to do with the vomit on your shirt.
Welcome!
Yooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!! Put yer hands in the sky!!! So I can search yer pockets!!!
If you're one of the lucky few who visited the site earlier, you'll notice that I've taken down the newest editions of my sleeping hit comic strip, Fresh Fruit. Why? Well, I'm still twerking on them, learning Photoshop, seeking illustrators and/or animators to collab wiff (that's "collaborate with" for those uninitiated to my regular assaults on the mother tongue) as well as trying to get published in glossy print, and eke out some scripts and other materials for to make Fresh Fruit into maybe a cartoon series. Cross your fingers, cross your toes, cross your nose.
So.
What I've decided to do instead of posting new material is to start from scrizzatch. I know, nobody's doing the "izzle" talk anymore, but I'm just not ready to let go. Get offa my back already. Anyway, I've been drawing my own liddle comic strips since I was knee-high to a grasshopper, and started specifically working on the characters for Fresh Fruit around the fall of 2001. Some background:
I had just been dismissed from university after delivering a brilliant lecture on the aggressive influence of rock and roll on German culture entitled "You, Kant, Always Get What You Want" --
Sorry. Wrong story. Let me set the tone.
Having graduated high school in 1999, I moved to NYC to pursue super-gay dreams of musical theater fame and fortune. Surprise surprise, things didn't work out and with my tail between my legs, I returned home to upstate New York where I spent the following three years moving in and out of my parents' basement and drifting from one crap job to the next. During a brief stint working the door at Prime Time Too, the local gay club, I met the close friends and even closer enemies who would later appear in Fresh Fruit, but it wasn't until I got fired from that place and took a job as a bellhop that I actually started drawing the strip. The actual bell-hopping took up only about 15% of my shift time, which left 85% to shoot the shit with my co-workers, smoke pot on the roof, and sit around doing nothing. Most of my earliest doodles were on the backs of parking tickets that looked this (click to enlarge):
I know. Fascinating.
So, here are some prototypes for some of the characters I would go on to feature in Fresh Fruit. Originally, the strip was called Fruit Salad, but just recently I decided that Fresh Fruit is a little more specific to the tone of the comic. OH MY GOD I'M BORING MYSELF. Okay, no further ado. Here. Excuse the handwriting, 'kay?
"You can be all the shady you want. Just stay the fuck out of my light."
This here's Kirk, the buddy whose cartoon name I'd later change to Kenton. A Jamaican transplant, he's more or less the strong, level-headed type, both in real life and on paper.
"Mom!! You will remove your ham-hock feet from my Moroccan camel clogs right now!! Now!!"
Vin's the sassy one, oh yah.
"Lionel Ritchie is full of shit. There is nothing easy about Sunday morning."
Based on yours truly, Manny is the well meaning fuck-up. It's funny - I drew this shit six years ago and aside from the bagginess of my jeans, not a lot has changed... Go fig.
"I just know, that someone, somewhere... has a gun pointed at my head."
Paranoid Jake was the first sort of "guest character" who I'd later feature in a brief storyline that lasted for three strips. You'll see them later.
There is a fourth character, TJ, who is an amalgamation of every rival and evil queen I've ever loved to hate. You'll see him later too.
So, okay, you saw it here first. This, I hope, is the beginning of something truly beauteeful. Besos.
If you're one of the lucky few who visited the site earlier, you'll notice that I've taken down the newest editions of my sleeping hit comic strip, Fresh Fruit. Why? Well, I'm still twerking on them, learning Photoshop, seeking illustrators and/or animators to collab wiff (that's "collaborate with" for those uninitiated to my regular assaults on the mother tongue) as well as trying to get published in glossy print, and eke out some scripts and other materials for to make Fresh Fruit into maybe a cartoon series. Cross your fingers, cross your toes, cross your nose.
So.
What I've decided to do instead of posting new material is to start from scrizzatch. I know, nobody's doing the "izzle" talk anymore, but I'm just not ready to let go. Get offa my back already. Anyway, I've been drawing my own liddle comic strips since I was knee-high to a grasshopper, and started specifically working on the characters for Fresh Fruit around the fall of 2001. Some background:
I had just been dismissed from university after delivering a brilliant lecture on the aggressive influence of rock and roll on German culture entitled "You, Kant, Always Get What You Want" --
Sorry. Wrong story. Let me set the tone.
Having graduated high school in 1999, I moved to NYC to pursue super-gay dreams of musical theater fame and fortune. Surprise surprise, things didn't work out and with my tail between my legs, I returned home to upstate New York where I spent the following three years moving in and out of my parents' basement and drifting from one crap job to the next. During a brief stint working the door at Prime Time Too, the local gay club, I met the close friends and even closer enemies who would later appear in Fresh Fruit, but it wasn't until I got fired from that place and took a job as a bellhop that I actually started drawing the strip. The actual bell-hopping took up only about 15% of my shift time, which left 85% to shoot the shit with my co-workers, smoke pot on the roof, and sit around doing nothing. Most of my earliest doodles were on the backs of parking tickets that looked this (click to enlarge):
I know. Fascinating.
So, here are some prototypes for some of the characters I would go on to feature in Fresh Fruit. Originally, the strip was called Fruit Salad, but just recently I decided that Fresh Fruit is a little more specific to the tone of the comic. OH MY GOD I'M BORING MYSELF. Okay, no further ado. Here. Excuse the handwriting, 'kay?
"You can be all the shady you want. Just stay the fuck out of my light."This here's Kirk, the buddy whose cartoon name I'd later change to Kenton. A Jamaican transplant, he's more or less the strong, level-headed type, both in real life and on paper.
"Mom!! You will remove your ham-hock feet from my Moroccan camel clogs right now!! Now!!"Vin's the sassy one, oh yah.
"Lionel Ritchie is full of shit. There is nothing easy about Sunday morning."Based on yours truly, Manny is the well meaning fuck-up. It's funny - I drew this shit six years ago and aside from the bagginess of my jeans, not a lot has changed... Go fig.
"I just know, that someone, somewhere... has a gun pointed at my head."Paranoid Jake was the first sort of "guest character" who I'd later feature in a brief storyline that lasted for three strips. You'll see them later.
There is a fourth character, TJ, who is an amalgamation of every rival and evil queen I've ever loved to hate. You'll see him later too.
So, okay, you saw it here first. This, I hope, is the beginning of something truly beauteeful. Besos.
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